ROB: I don’t want to be the nice guy any more. I’m sick of being the safe guy, the one that everyone assumes will spend the whole night in bed with another person and nothing will happen. Being the responsible one sucks ass! It’s time for me to be wild and stupid for a change. It’s time to make decisions I will regret later. It’s time to fuck shit up! You…
[indicating attractive audience member]
what are you doing after the show? You want to come with me to my place and have wild, sweaty, unprotected sex? I promise in the morning I’ll buy you breakfast and drive you home. You know, after I’ve come to my fucking senses.
CURTAIN