Rob: I was at a party a while ago and I was talking to a couple of people. Somehow the topic of conversation worked it’s way around to the topic of sex toys, specifically dildos. This one girl got a look of utter confusion on her face and asked, “what’s a dildo?”
We all got the ‘you’re kidding, right?’ half smile but no, she was dead serious. She had no clue what we were talking about. In order to help her out from being embarrassed and lost in the conversation I asked her, “Have you ever had sex?” She was even more embarrassed now but, blushing and giggling, she admitted that no, she had never had sex. I said, “well, when you do you won’t have an orgasm. It’s sad but it’s true, the first couple of times before you know what to ask for and don’t have the courage to try new things, you aren’t gonna get a lot out of the experience. You won’t mind at first. You’ll still be in the ‘that was nice’ mindset, but after a while you’re gonna start thinking, ‘god, there has got to be more to this!’
This is where the dildo comes in. the dildo is a prosthetic penis that does what you wish your boyfriend’s cock would. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, textures and colors so you can have one for every occasion and mood. You control the pace, the pressure and, and this is the best part, the timing. This thing is made of hard rubber or plastic so there is NO refractory period where you’re sitting there poking the nearly inert body next to you saying ‘What about me? Where’s mine?’ There is also the added bonus that, since you’re controlling everything, you are pretty much assured that you’ll get off every time and you won’t have some sweaty asshole hanging over you panting, ‘Who’s your daddy? You like that don’t you?”
Now, please understand, my intentions were good. I intended to educate her about something she didn’t know about and possibly make her laugh at the same time. Both of these I did, but I think something else might have happened as well.
So let me just say if any one of you meet up with this girl in the near future and you hit it off well and all seems to be going well and she suddenly decides that she would prefer to play with a purple vibrating plastic toy instead of giving you a fair chance… I’m really sorry
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