Welcome to tonight's performance of the one-act play Delete my SPAM by Rob Graham.In tonight's performance the part of ROB will be played by Rob Graham and the part of E-MAIL SERVER will be played by a lazy college student.
Curtain opens to reveal SERVER sitting on the couch watching The Real World on TV. ROB enters with a garbage bag full of "stuff"
ROB: Hey dude, i found this big bag of "stuff" in my room. what's the deal?
SERVER: Hm? Oh yeah, it all came for you today but most of it was crap so i separated it and stuck it in that bag for you.
ROB: Oh, thanks man. (pause) Say, is there any way i can get you to get rid of this crap?
SERVER: *sigh* I'm busy right now.
ROB: What? Dude, this is one of the reason's you're here. you're supposed to get rid of stuff like this.
SERVER: I also unlock the door so you can leave.
ROB: Well yeah, but right now i need you to get your ass up off that couch and dispose of this "stuff"
SERVER: (shrugs) I'm busy right now. it'd be really hard for me to get off this couch and do that what with all the stuff i have to do.
ROB: Fine, whatever. (heaves bag of "stuff" onto the couch next to SERVER)
SERVER: Now it'll probably take me longer to get off my ass and do something since i now have a bag of "stuff" sitting on top of me
ROB: Whereas it would have been easier to get rid of it when i asked you the first time
SERVER: (shrugs)
ROB: Whatever. (he checks his watch) Hey, i'm late for work. can you open the door for me so i can leave?
SERVER: I said i'm busy.
ROB: It would make life easier on you if i wasn't standing here nagging you to do shit that happens to be your job, you know. i mean i have stuff to get done too, but unlike you i intend to go out and do it.
SERVER: Yeah, life probably would be easier without you yelling in my face, but i'm just not in the mood to do anything about it right now.
Curtain closes
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